The self-decision
I started studying English really early at the age of 5 or 6. The very early approach to English language brought me the opportunity to explore the world through books, music, internet. Deliberately I acknowledged the Western culture with both pros and cons (but before I came to live in Europe, I knew much more about the North America). I started to realize the life I want to live and the way I want to behave. The decision actually came late, but I'm now just at the early of my 20s. I still have time (not a bunch, though) to start again and do what I want. It's tough but I accept it and do it anyway. I know a Finnish girl who now left the country and lived in Italy where she earns more than eight hundreds a month and pays the rent up to five hundreds a month. But she doesn't want to come back home for a much easier life. She wants to stay at where she loves to stay and lives a life she decides to live. So, not only me, not only her! I believe there are still a lot of people out there whose stories aren't known or written. But as long as we make decisions, we fight for them.
The support
Living on one's own term can be selfish at some point if your path doesn't go upon your family or loved ones' expectations. But I am happy and thankful for my supportive family. Without them, I find it hard to get enough courage to walk on my own path. Because as you may know, Asian parents mostly decide and lead their children to the lives they want them to be. From what I understand about my upbringing, the best time to educate and navigate children is their 10 first years of life. After building a solid base for them, the parents hardly can change anything about the children unless the children decide to change themselves. And that's how my parents brought me up, trusted me and let me decide my own life.
The future
The future is still up front. It can be full of either achievements or lessons learned, or both? No matter how, it is still a bless for me to be able to live my own term. Because elsewhere in the world, the poor, the uneducated, the brainwashed, all who are less lucky, don't even have a real life.
This really speaks to me! I am one of those people who, for the longest time, have let everyone ELSE run her life for her. It was tough. I hated the situations I ended up in, but I knew I was the only one to blame.
ReplyDeleteI decided to fully take charge again a while ago, when I decided to leave the states--the comfort of having family, and leaving great friends, a secured job--and becoming an immigrant yet again! I moved to Canada where I knew ONE person, had no job offer and no definite plan. Just a good sense of adventure.
It was challenging, but it just might be one of the best decisions I've made in a long time. And the best part? That decision was MINE.
It's so brave of you Denise. I wish you all best luck in Canada. Life here is challenging now for me too but since I know you, and a lot other people, go through obstacles to do what they want, I will keep fighting!
DeleteMy parents tried that so much when I was younger --- about trying to shape me. Fortunately for me, I have an enduring mind that saw past their constant rules and perspectives on life (at a young age I learned not to take their word for face value and instead try to logically reason the correct answer) but could not escape wanting to please them in exchange for their love and praise! It is so difficult! But they've come to realize I have my own mind and are slowly accepting it!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your parents are supportive! It allows someone to focus on things that would make them happy (and hopefully in turn, everyone else) and then there's no guilt, drama or fights! I see a lot of that in my family.
What a great perspective you have though on life and the future!
I also believe that parents love their children enough to accept who they are, not right away but deliberately. But yeah I totally understand what you mean. There are still things in life I can't totally decide myself but make my parents pleased (even now when I'm an adult). The point is to reconcile my own decisions with my parent's perspectives
DeleteGod, don't I know how you feel. My (Asian) parents were very strict with me, and they believed that living life a certain way was the right way to live. I moved out when I was 18 because they kept saying "it's my way, or the highway", and so I chose the highway. There were times when I questioned my decision(s), but after being where I am now, I'm glad I did it. I found my own highway; it was rocky, imperfect, and sometimes uncertain, but it was mine. =) -Jessica L
ReplyDeleteSome of my friends have crazily strict parents and sometimes I feel sorry for them. At least you DARED to choose the highway! I understand the questioning part, Jessica. I sometimes feel lost and question myself if I made it right or wrong. As I said, it can be either achievements or lessons learned
DeleteWow, I come from a very laid back family where we were encouraged to walk our own path from a very early age - and this post has reminded me to appreciate that more!
ReplyDeleteIt's the best to have a supportive family Natasha!!! And I think mostly Asian children have those kinds of problems with their families.
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